I remember a school field trip to the roller rink in 5th Grade. I was afraid to skate. One teacher said to me, “You got to have guts.” It wasn’t guts that I lacked. I didn’t want to feel the pain when falling down. I feared the pain.
I was a clumsy and uncoordinated kid, to begin with. I knew I would end up falling down and getting hurt.
I also knew what pain felt like. I felt it at home every day with the beatings I received. I feared the pain of falling down and experiencing even more pain. That’s why I didn’t want to skate.
All those kids who were daredevils and showed no concern for injury, were they unacquainted with pain?
Did they have no fear of injury, unlike me?
Was that because they rarely felt pain?
Fifty years later, I ponder.
Were they never beaten as a child, unlike me?
Did they never fear the feeling of pain?
Is that what made them fearless?
Just a thought.
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