I find it emotionally difficult to write about childhood trauma and abuse. Some therapists state to their patients that writing about these past events will help in the process of overcoming painful memories.

This has been suggested to me, but personally, I haven’t found writing about my trama helpful. When I write the events down, I am reliving the trauma and experiencing the pain again, retraumatizing myself.

In the memoir I’m writing, I travel back to these painful events a limited amount of times, only so that the reader has a greater understanding of the situation they are reading.

I could never write 300 pages of abuse after abuse. Others have done so.

Mackenzie Phillips, the daughter of the late John Phillips of The Mamas and the Papas and his first wife, wrote a memoir chronicling extreme abuse by her father.

Mackenzie is best remembered for her role as Julie Cooper on the TV series, One Day at a Time. While on set, Mackenzie’s drug use became apparent to the crew and cast, even resulting her in passing out during a rehearsal. She was eventually fired due to her inability to perform her duties on the show.

Decades later, in 2009, Mackenzie wrote a memoir, High on Arrival, which described her introduction to cocaine and heroin by her father, who shot her full of drugs himself at age eleven.

Even worse, Mackenzie states that her father, John committed multiple acts of incest on her for years.

The abuse Mackenzie received from her father is unimaginable. Writing her memoir and speaking on the subject apparently helped her in healing and recovery, as she is clean and sober today, although it was a long journey.

I am interested in the reaction to Mackenzie’s memoir by her relatives. Similar to Gary Crosby’s memoir about his father Bing’s abuse, Going My Own Way, the responses to Mackenzie’s memoir are also mixed. Gary Crosby Writes a Memoir – The Writings of AjTony Perkins

According to Geneviève Waïte, John’s third wife, he couldn’t have committed the abuse as it is out of character for him. She doesn’t believe Mackenzie.

In the case of Michelle Phillips, John’s second wife, and The Mamas and Papas‘ group member, she doesn’t believe Mackenzie. In an interview with TV Guide shortly after the book was released, she stated she has “every reason to believe [Mackenzie’s memoir is] untrue.” (9-24-2009)

Michelle told Vanity Fair writer Sheila Weller, “I’m so embarrassed—and mad,” she said. “At Oprah, at the publisher, and at Mackenzie, who should be on a psychiatrist’s couch, not on TV.” (9-25-2009) Oprah Winfrey interviewed Mackenzie on her TV show after her memoir was released. Michelle continued, “Is this all true? We’ll never know, because she waited until John was dead.” Michelle further criticized Mackinzie stating she hurt her family members by writing the memoir.

Michelle also said, according to Billboard Magazine, “John was a bad parent, and a drug addict. But [expletive deleted] his daughter? If she thinks it’s true, why isn’t she with a good psychiatrist on a couch? I think it’s unconscionable that Oprah would let her do her show. I have every reason to believe it’s untrue. Oprah should be more judicious about who she has on her show.” (9=23-2009)

In later years, Michelle appeared to back peddle on her statement slightly. “I’m not going to say whether it’s true or not, because I don’t think she knows if it’s true or not.” Last surviving Mamas & the Papas member opens up about band’s dark history | The Independent

In her memoir, Mackenzie states that while high on drugs, John raped her and that lead to ten years of sexual abuse resulting in a pregnancy. John paid for an abortion.

Chynna Phillips, Mackenzie’s half-sister through mother Michelle, believes Mackenzie. She told The New York Daily News that Mackenzie revealed the abuse to her in 1997. (9-26-2009) In US Weekly, Chynna also stated, “Somebody could have dropped a piano on my head and I probably wouldn’t have felt it,” she continued. “But I knew it was true. I mean, who in their right mind would make such a claim if it wasn’t true?” (9-23-2009)

Jessica Woods, daughter of The Mamas and Papas member Denny Doherty, stated that her late father spoke of the abuse. He knew “the awful truth” and was “horrified at what John had done.” Mackenzie Phillips’ Secret – Her Family Reacts (oprah.com)

There will always be family members who will try to disprove a writer’s account of negative events and people. I have family like that of my own.

Some, I believe, are in denial and don’t want to accept the negative accusations made toward the guilty person. They don’t want to admit the abuser committed the abuse.

Others, I believe, feel guilt or shame for having some knowledge or awareness of the accusations and did not step in to help the victim. They allowed the abuser to abuse.

I use this analogy when dealing with family members regarding my Truth and my story. If they don’t want to believe or refuse to believe, that is on them. I have my own story, and I’m sticking with it. My belief will not waver due to their actions or inactions.

I appreciate Mackenzie’s determination to defend her story, even after 13 years of criticism from Michelle. She continues to belittle Mackenzie for waiting until after John’s death to write her memoir. This is a common practice of writers who have survived abuse. Michelle also continues to insinuate that Mackenzie is unstable, delusional, and has difficulty grasping reality.

I’ll allow Mackenzie to have the last word on this.

In a recent article in Rolling Stone magazine, Michelle still maintains her position on Mackenzie’s memoir. In an email to the magazine regarding Michelle’s interview, Mackenzie wrote:

 “I stand by my truth as I always have and as I always will,” Mackenzie wrote. “Plus which, who on Earth would fabricate such a story as mine? To what end? It’s not exactly a résumé builder, for God’s sake. . . . [High on Arrival] is true, and it was my story to tell. If I had to live it, I had the right to tell it.” She added that she takes some comfort in the ways the world’s perspective on abuse allegations has changed in the past decade. “Imagine if [my memoir] had been published during the ‘me too’ movement. I sometimes wonder what that would’ve been like.” Michelle Phillips on the Secret History of the Mamas and the Papas – Rolling Stone

Today Mackenzie is active in helping survivors of abuse and those with addictions.

You can follow her at these links.

Breathe Addiction Treatment Center: Drug Rehab Los Angeles (breathelifehealingcenters.com)

Mackenzie Phillips Actress/Program Director on: Rises in Addiction Amidst COVID- 19 | Newswire

If the post below doesn’t load, you can find Mackenzie on the above bird for Twitter.

Tweets by MackPhillips