A driving theme, if not the main theme, in my memoir is my loneliness. Why am I all by myself, and lonely? I write why, at the age of 40, I had no friends and how and why, then for the first time in my life. I finally made one.

All by myself, I’m lonely.

A younger man became my unlikely friend, and where that friendship led the both of us, on the pages of my memoir, I reveal.

Hank Williams expressed more than any singer the loneliness he felt in song.

I’m so Lonesome I Could Cry – Hank Williams

I find it challenging to dig deep into my emotions and find the words to express my feelings.

Often, I find difficulty in actually feeling my feelings.

I have been diagnosed with this condition.

Bobby Vinton sang of the loneliness of having no one to love.

Mr. Lonely – Bobby Vinton

These songs speak to how I sometimes feel. That is the times when I do actually feel. Often I can not feel anything.

I am a misfit, an outcast.

All by myself, I’m lonely.

Eric Carmen sings that he doesn’t want to live life lonely anymore.

All By Myself – Eric Carmen

I knew a guy once who said to me, “Tony, why do you always look so lonesome all the time?”

I know I’m not normal.

All by myself, I’m lonely.

I am almost a soul mate to Freddie Mercury. Him wanting somebody to love rings in me and aches my inner being.

Somebody to Love – Queen

The haunting music that Eric Carmen used in “All By Myself” he borrowed from the Russian composer Rachmaninoff in his Piano Concerto No.2, in c minor, Movement 2 Adagio Sostenuto.

Hear the composer playing his creation himself in 1929.

Allow the melody to sing to you, All By Myself.

When I’m all by myself, I’m lonely,

Apparently, Eric Carmen is a fan of Rachmaninoff.

He used the music from the Russian composer’s Symphony No2, in e minor, Movement 3 Adagio, in his song “Never Gonna Fall in Love Again.”

Hear the music that inspired Carmen.

It inspires me, too, especially when I’m all by myself and I’m lonely.

The theme in the opening measures of the symphony is the melody of Carmen’s song.

Throughout most of my life, and especially during my youth, Rachmaninoff was my favorite composer.

In my youth, I studied his Prelude in c sharp minor for piano. I could never play the middle section at the correct rapid tempo.

My fingers wouldn’t move fast enough.

Listen to Rachmaninoff play this work himself.

I don’t think it is humanly possible for Rachmaninoff or anyone to move his fingers as light and fast as he does in the following recordings.

This was originally recorded on old 78 rpm records. Perhaps someone cranked the Victrola too much, and the record is playing too fast.

Rachmaninoff’s talent was beyond belief.

Welcome to EricCarmen.com

Hank Williams – Tragic Country Star (biography.com)

QueenOnline.com – The Official Queen Website